Last few months.....................

A lot has happened the last few months...
1) Me and Lexi did the Susan G Komen walk. This is becoming a tradition with us that we do the breast cancer walks. She really enjoys it and we have fun doing it.

2) I got to babysit this little boy while they were here for Ty's shots. Oh I love the Brown boys so much! Grayson now calls me "TiTi" and he calls me about every day.

3) I BOUGHT MYSELF A CAR!! Yep I traded in the Suzuki and I got this new one! The Suzuki was starting to cause a lot of problems I was driving on the freeway and the power steering pump blew out, I would be driving and I would smell burning, the seatbelt light wouldn't go off, check engine light would stay on but nobody could find out WHY. So the weekend of Easter, me and my dad got up early and we were at Henry Day Ford at 9:00 when then opened. I test drove this car and I fell in love! It's a 2013 Ford Focus. The car is in MY NAME and it is MINE!

4) Me and Lexi went to Festival of Colors. We went last year and had so much fun. This year the boys didn't want to go because it was cold (and Kayden then ended up in the hospital the next week). It was cold and rainy, so the colors that were in our hair STAYED in our hair. I ended up having to go pay a good amount of money to color my hair BACK so it wasn't cotton candy pink. But We had fun and that's what we did for Lexi's 13th birthday.

5) My oldest niece turned 13! Good thing I was there to help with everything because the cake was HUGE! It took up almost the whole backseat of my car. Lexi wanted to go ice skating for her birthday. She has been taking lessons and she is really good at it! She is getting so big! We have this great relationship now, I don't know what I'm going to do when they move!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST..........................................

I graduated from SLCC with my Associates in Psychology. The day of my graduation, my team at work decorated the office and we had food and enjoyed it! Then hung out with the parents for a while before I had to be at the E-Center.

 

 

 

 Me and my friend Allison outside at our TENT. I had a few classes with her and sometimes, I don't know what I would do without her!

The Key Note Speaker was amazing! He was so funny and gave a great message. His name is Derreck Kayonga. Check out The Global Soap Project for more information on him.

 

I want to thank my parents for coming up for graduation! They have been a HUGE support to me. Yes it is "just an associate" and no it didn't take me 12 years to get my degree. But either way, I at least did it. The last 3 semesters I did it working full time and going to school with a minimum of 6 credits. I did pull off a 3.26 GPA.

 

MY NEXT CHAPTER.....

I'm hoping to get into Westminster College here in Salt Lake City and go forward with my Bachelors of Psychology. My focus is childhood psychology. I meet with the school next week and hopefully they can help me with scholarships and transferring. I'm SOO excited!

 

In the next few months, I will be working and working.. Then in July... Going to Phoenix, AZ in July with my family to head to NKOTB, 98 degrees and Boyz II Men concert with my sisters. I did offer to buy my SIL a ticket but it's their anniversary and she decided she better not.

I thought I would write again since I haven't in 6 months. I'm loving my new place! Around October/November I was needing someone/something here at the house to give me company. So right after Thanksgiving I got myself a puppy!

Lexi, Kayden and Koy went with me to pick him up from a lady in Draper. He was only 8 weeks old when I bought him (at a GREAT price). Kayden said he looks like an OREO and that name just stuck with him. He has such a fun personality! He goes almost everywhere with me. That picture was taken after he got his haircut in January. He LOVES to go over to "the kids" and play. As soon as I say "the kids" he barks and runs to the door. I took him over there just Friday to get energy out and as soon as I opened the car door, he ran right to the front door and sat there waiting for someone to open the door. He loves to play with Cally (Lexi's dog), he likes to torment Thor (Kayden's dog). Every Tuesday I try to take him to "puppy playtime" at PetCo and he's the life of the party there. Everyone loves to watch him!

I'm still going to SLCC and I will be graduating in May with Associates in Psychology. I am SO excited! Graduation is May 9. Last semester I pulled off a 3.2 GPA, so it did lower my GPA to 3.4, but still really good when I'm working full-time and going to school.

I had a nice Christmas break. I went down to my parents for Christmas and it was so nice to get away. Then I had the first week of January off and I just stayed at home, except the 2 days I was at my parents for a family funeral. It was a much needed break from work and school.

Now the BEST thing... I got tickets for me and my sisters to go to Boyz II Men, New Kids on the Block and 98 Degrees (Chantel is not able to go because it's their anniversary). The concert is July 14 in Glendale, AZ. So we'll head down to Nancy's. I am taking the 11-15 off work so I can be there for Grayson's 2nd birthday. Now the next chore is to make sure we have the money for the trip. But my very first concert was with my sisters at Boyz II Men, MANY years ago so I'm really looking forward to this.

Yet ANOTHER change..

I have made yet another change in my life. Changes are good! I think this has got to be the best change yet! I feel GREAT, I haven't felt this good in a long time. I know many people I know are probably reading this and thinking "whatever", then stop reading.. I don't care if you continue reading. I'm not trying to impress you, change your feelings about me. I know I may never get you to do that. That has to come from yourself. All that I can do is show that I am trying to change and all I ask is for you to just TRY to accept that I am. If you can't do that... then I'm sorry. Then that is your problem, not mine.

Things happened in my life over the last year that I do take credit for because they were my own actions. However, there were actions of others that I cannot and I will not take credit for. The actions of many people involved caused things to happen in my life that I am not proud of. A lot of my depression, anxiety, fear, etc.. came back. Over the past year, I have continually gone to my doctor to have my meds evaluated. After so long, having personal life and work life and other things bog down on me, things spiraled out of control.

About a month ago, I had a HUGE breakdown with my depression, anxiety, stress, everything. I ended up moving out of Tammy's house and I got an apartment of my own. I think it went the way it had to go for a reason. I learned a lot!!

I LOVE having my own place again. I love coming home and having my own privacy. After living with my 2 sisters over the last year (who I am so thankful they let me in), I needed my own space. I feel I can come home at 11 pm if I want and not have someone ask me where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, etc. If I want to be an hour late for work, I can be (my boss is GREAT and she doesn't mind as long as we get our hours in).

I know there were MANY things that had gone on beyond my control for a few days and I tried to change that, but I was not able to change that. If things were said and people have questions or concerns, I would appreciate it if they would come to me and ask me. I have tried to reach out to people to make things better but again, that is now out of my hands and into yours as I have tried and I have not had success.

I have had amazing people in my life over the past month and I have tried so hard to keep the positive in my life and get the negative out. Me moving out and doing some life changing has really helped.

I do want to say thank you to my parents. I will continue on building our relationship back and I understand that is going to take time. I really enjoyed our time together for a few days last week. Even though we were just in the hospital with dad, I feel that I was able to get a lot of confusion worked out. (I even mentioned it to my doctor that I felt it was the best time in YEARS that we had such a great conversation and it really helped me out).

I have the best friends in the entire world. New friends and old friends! I met some of the best people in the hospital! My heart is broken that one of the good friends I met (Tyrell) died 4 days after I left and only 3 days after he was discharged. We really connected as we had a LOT in common with our situations. I am also really grateful I met Wes. Me, Wes and Tyrell were together for about 3 days in the hospital. Wes is amazing and he wants to move his family out of Nevada and here to SLC (any jobs hiring, let me know!).  I cannot even START to tell Jill and Felicia how grateful I am for them. Jill opened her house for me to stay for a night when I had no place to go. She came the night I was in the ER. Felicia, she has and always will be my best friend! My best friend since high school and we still continue to talk, almost every day. I don't know how I ever got so lucky to have these amazing people in my life!

And to another best friend in my life, Abdul. He was there the night in the ER. He came up almost every night at the hospital and would call me every day. His mom and brother came to the ER and his mom just sat by my side. Before she left, she told me that she prays for me every day. Abdul, his brother Khalifa and his uncle Manjaaye came up one night at the hospital. It wasn't for very long, but they wanted to come and say hi and make sure I was ok. The day I got out, Abdul's uncle Abe (lives in AZ) checked up on me to make sure I was ok, he said he had been so concerned and sad that he wasn't able to be there when I needed him. That family is just amazing! They have opened their arms and welcomed me! Abdul and Khalifa helped move my things to my apartment. They are just amazing and I love them all so much!

School is starting up in a week and I am SO excited! I only have 13 credits left and I will graduate. I never thought I would see this day. I am taking 7 credits this semester and 6 in the Spring.

I know there will be ups and downs. Things aren't always going to be great. But I have learned so much! I have really learned who I can trust and who I can't. I am going to do what I can to mend a lot of relationships and of course, that will take some time and effort. I hope that things will continue on the path that is going.

Vacation.. well, WORK

Well, my first semester back to school is over! I had a BLAST! My classes were great! I'm going to take the summer semester off and I'm already registered for Fall. I talked to a counselor at SLCC to see how much longer until I can graduate and just to see if I'm still on track, he said for me to get ready to graduate. I'll be taking 7 credits in the fall and then 6 in the Spring, then I'll graduate! I just got back from a trip back east. My work gave me the opportunity to go to the territory I work. I flew out Saturday morning(right after I was done with finals so a NICE end to the semester). My flight left at 7 am, I am so thankful that Tammy took me to the airport. I flew out with a girl on my team Jessica.

We flew to Detroit. That airport is crazy!

We got on the tram from our terminal and had to go to from there almost to the other side of the world (it felt). From the tram we had to walk thru this tunnel which was AMAZING. It had awesome lights that changed colors and had relaxing music :)

We flew from Detroit to Newark, NJ. There we were picked up by the rep that we would be working with the next few days that got this trip worked out for us, Stacey. It was AMAZING! She told me she would be picking us up in a black car, I never thought it would be a LIMO!

She gave us the royal treatment when we got there. There we went to Manhattan and ate a Thai restaurant called PEEP. It was so fun! Where the bathroom is, is a one sided mirror. People in the bathroom can look out but people can't look in. Kind of gives you stage fright :) There Stacey told us she had ANOTHER surprise for us..BLUE MAN GROUP! That show was SOO much fun! From there, we went to Times Square. I found ELMO in the middle of Times Square. Elmo was Asian asking for money lol We got to the hotel late. The hotel we stayed at was in Bethlehem, PA called Sands. Sunday was a day of R&R. I went shopping at the stores there. Got myself a new purse and wallet. Even played my first time at a casino. AND I DIDN'T LOSE ANY MONEY! Ate at great restaurants there (Carnegie Deli and Emeril's Italian restuarant) Monday and Tuesday we got to experience the field of sales for the company. It was CRAZY! Long days of running around. We ate at WONDERFUL places (panini's, italian, and my favorite.. SUSHI) Wednesday we left PA in the rain got to Newark to fly to Minneapolis. That airport is MASSIVE! I'm not sure if it's a mall in the airport or an airport in the mall. While at the gate, I saw about 7 missionaries waiting to get on our flight to come home to Utah. I went up and talked to them and actually found out that one of them actually lives close by me and his best friends dad is my bishop in my current ward! Small world! I am so glad to be home now. I was missing my bed. Nancy, Tyler and Grayson picked me up from the airport. Tyler was so cute and was cheering for me when I came down the escalator. I was so ready to hit my bed and fall asleep. I'm so grateful for the trip back there but I am so grateful for where I live.

New Year

A new year has come! There are a lot of changes in my life that I am happy about. I start school at Salt Lake Community College this upcoming week. It has been quite a long time since I've been at school. I have finally decided what I REALLY wanna go into and I REALLY excited about it. I have decided to focus on Psychology. I will be taking 3 classes at Salt Lake Community that are all Psychology classes. I'm a little nervous about classes because it has been so long but overall, I am really excited because most of my credits have transferred over from the previous schools and I am close to getting my associates done.

I had a wonderful Christmas! A wee before Christmas, I had the chance to go to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert and The Spoken Word (on Dec.18). I got the tickets from my boss who wasn't able to go. We had the best seats. I got 3 tickets, I got them for my mom. She grew up with Mack Wilberg (the choir director) and she has always wanted to go to the Christmas concert. We got there early that Sunday morning. We got in line at about 7. We visited with people in line and finally those doors opened. My parents and I went and got a seat, they were EXCELLENT seats! We were sitting in the same section as President Monson! We were able to watch the choir practice. It was amazing. There were 2 guests this year for the concert, Nathan Gunn and Jane Seymour. It was amazing and the spirit there was so amazing. The very last song that was sung by the choir was for the 2 guests, God be With You. It was all Acapella, just SOO amazing! Not a dry eye!

Since I have been at Myriad for 5 years, I was able to get the Christmas break off. It was my first year getting this break and it was much needed. My parents came up on Friday before christmas. My dad had a sleepover with the kids upstairs. They were so excited to have grandma and grandpa able to sleep at their house now. Me and my mom slept downstairs in my own little "house". Christmas morning, we were able to see the Gale kids open their gifts. Then we went down to spend some time with the Browns. Tyler and Grandpa were having a lot of fun putting his race track up on the wall. We came up to my ward for church. It was so much fun having my parents up for Christmas. After church, my parents went up to Logan to see the Labrum kids. I headed over to spend time with Abdul's family. We had a nice dinner and I got to meet his parents. Monday afternoon, me and my parents headed up to Logan to the hotel so they could go to the temple Tuesday morning with the Labrum's. Isaac was being sealed to the family. You can read the story ehere. Tuesday was the day that the family has been waiting for. Since I am not able to in the temple with the family, I got to watch the rest of the kids. After the temple sealing, we all headed out to the Labrum home for the blessing of Isaac and for food :) It was so nice to see the family and for time to visit. After the eventful day, headed home with Tammy and the kids.

This whole break I was having extreme knee pain. Not able to put much weight on me knee. I was just thinking it was because of the cold weather. But everyday it was just getting worse. I would just wear my knee brace and keep treking along hoping it would get better. Finally, after the trip the Logan I made an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon just to take a look at the knee. He looked at the leg, range of motion, etc. We decided on giving me a cortisone shot and if that didn't work then we would do an MRI. The cortisone shot worked for about 3 days. I'm back to not being able to walk much, having to wear the knee brace at all time so my knee doesn't give out on me. I have contacted the doctor and they are working on getting me into the MRI. As of yesterday, my insurance has denied the authorization for the MRI, not sure WHY. My doctor did tell me he is worried that I have a torn meniscus.

I am really working on keeping a positive attitude about everything. My goal for 2012 is to be a person each day then I was the day before. I control my life and I will not allow anyone to ruin my day. I learned so much from 2011. Everything happens for a reason. I don't think that if I was still where I was at, I would be going back to school and progressing with my life. Everything happens for a reason! I had to have the life changing experience that I had to help things come out in the open and I don't think that I would've been able to handle things if they happened any other way.

New Changes

Wow, I can't believe it has been 2 months since I posted last. A lot has happened since I posted last. I had my birthday, I'm now 29 (next year I'll be the big 3-0) We had a family get-together (and we all loved it!) Thanksgiving, and... I MOVED BACK TO SALT LAKE!

I live in a house with Tammy and her family. We found a nice house in Salt Lake where I have the downstairs and the family has the upstairs. We share the laundry room and the kitchen. I have my own little living room, bedroom and bathroom. It's really close to the freeway so I can just jump on and make it to work within 15 minutes. It was so nice to get my stuff back, it was kind of like Christmas opening up my stuff again!

I am so thankful for Nancy and Dallas. They opened their home to me and let me move in with them. It was a hard move for me because I LOVED waking up and seeing Tyler every morning and night. There is just something special about that boy that I just love and I miss him so much! I'm also going to miss seeing Grayson grow up. I had so much fun seeing him grow the few months I was there.

Today we had the Labrum family Christmas Party. This is a tradition with my dads family that has always gone on the 2nd Saturday of December. This year, it just seemed different. Growing up, there was always TONS of snow! All of the cousins would meet and we would have our snowsuits on and we would go and play in the snow before the party started. This year... the little kids were outside playing without coats on! It is always fun to get together with the Labrum family. There is always so much love and the family always knows what is going on and they care so much!

The month of December is such an eventful one this year for the family. Barrett and Chantel got the adoption finalized with Isaac! AND, on the 27th Isaac will be sealed to them in the Logan LDS temple. I am SO excited for Barrett and Chantel!

That is just a quick update of what has been going on the past few months.

I am grateful of the tender mercies I am given

I have never really looked forward to conference. When I was in primary, they would always give us the conference BINGO and we had M&M's and I would enjoy the M&M's more then playing the game. I never understood conference.

After so much has gone in my life over the past month, I was really looking forward toconference. So much that I got up right before conference and I took my blanket downstairs and had my notebook and pen with me so I could take notes. I really wanted to get as much as out on conference as I could. There were so many talks that I really needed to hear and I knew that the Lord was speaking to me.

One talk I really enjoyed was Bro Packer. Some things I got out of his talk are:
*Gospel plan is the center of the family
*All physical bodies have power over the temptation
*Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost
*Words of Christ come as a feeling not as a voice
*With repentence, the Lord says "I the Lord remember them no more"

Keys from Pres. Uchdorf's talk
*The prisoner holds the key and it needs to be unlocked from the inside.
*Only repentance can heal what hurts no matter what it is
*You will be sealed and protected by the advesary IF you will head the prompting that come from the holy ghost.
*Dress modestly
*Talk reverently
*Listen to uplifting music
*Avoid all immorality and degrading practice
*Take hold of your life, we depend so much on you,you will be remarkable blessed. You're never far from the side of your heavenly father
*Lucifer will lose the battle.

Me and Nancy went to her friends baby's birthday so we missed the Saturday afternoon session. I got home and didn't feel well so I took a nap.

Sunday, I listened to both sessions and I REALLY enjoyed every talk.
I really enjoyed Bro Robert D Hales
*We have trials to help us grow and to strengthen us. We wait upon the Lord to test.
*They are all for our experience and for our own good.
*"THY WILL BE DONE"
*Wait on the Lord is like planting a seed--Plant a seed on the Lord and nourish it, ponder it, stand fast.
*Line upon line, precept upon precept
*Answers will come. He knows our sacrifices and sorrows
*Blessings are eternal not temporary

Bro Tad Callister
He did a good job about explaining how different religions can have different interpretations of the bible and he likened it to a circle. How many lines can go thru a circle, INFINITE. Then he put another circle out to the side. How many lines can go to one circle to another, only one. One circle was the bible and the other the Book of Mormon.
*God is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you believe in Christ you will believe in these words

One of my favorite quotes of ALL of conference, came from Sister Elaine S Dalton, General Young Women President
*Value Womanhood
*Satan is clever, he does not need to break down the door
*Fathers are showing what true love is
*Priesthood is connected to heaven
*If she is late coming home from a date, GO GET HER!
My favorite...
**BE LOYAL TO THE ROYAL**


Brother Ballard told us
*We took name on us in baptism
*Savior is only name under heaven which man may be saved
*The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Jesus Christ's church and we are the Latter-day followers
*Jssus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer
*Stand as a witness at all times and in all places and in places
*In old times we were called Christians, now we are called Mormons. Please refrain from "Mormon" use the full name of the church

Bro. Dallin H Oaks
*When you consider all the things the Lord has done for you, why not go to church?
*Whatever shall be bound on earth shall be bound in heaven.
*Comforter will teach you all things, guides you all things
*Focus on HIM, not on the things of the world
*The Lord is the Bread of life.
*He is LIVING bread
*Blood shed for the many for the remission of sin
*He will judge according to their works
*The Atonement gives a chance to overcome spiritual death

Bro Randall Bennett
*Choose eternal Life
*When you make a choice, you are choosing the consequence.
*We have 2 choices: Follow the Lord, Follow the World
*We all have made choices and made errors---repent
*Savior will remember sins no more
*Never too late to choose eternal life

Pres Monson announced 6 new temples!
1) Provo Temple (rebuilding the Provo tabernacle into a templ)
2) Barranquilla, Columbia
3) Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo
4) Durban, South Africa
5) Star Valley, Wyoming
6) Paris, France

I got so much out of conference and I got so many prayers answers. I know that so many of the talks were just what I needed

Gratitude

The past week has been a lot easier going to work. I can't remember the last time it was this easy going to work. When I was with Mike, he always tried to convince me to take time off. I didn't like to take time off, but I also wanted to spend time with him. It made me feel like our roles were turned and I should be more of the one staying at home and he needed to be the one off working. But I knew that was never going to change. I LOVE my job, I'm glad I have stuck with it and it is the one thing that keeps my mind busy right now.

I have learned a lot the past few weeks while staying at Nancy's. Tyler really cheers me up. How can he not when you wake up to a sweet, innocent little boy saying to you "Oh, hello Nicky Poo Poo. I'm so glad to see you" Whether he is really glad to see you or not, nobody will ever know. He walks me to the door every morning and he will push me out the door and say "i'll see you after work and after my school. I love you!"

Last night in his bed time prayers, he said to "please bless nicky poo, mom-e, dad-e, tyler the professor, and baby grayson that we can talk to dr walker about going to the beach with mickey mouse" He wants me to go on his make-a-wish trip with him. That makes me feel so loved by him. Also by Nancy and Dallas that they are going to do what they can to make that happen.

I cannot even tell my family thank you enough for everything you do for me. A special thank you to my parents. Mom and Dad,you are the best parents ever! You are so supportive ad understanding. I'm trying to understand and get back on the path, it takes time and effort and prayer.. I'm trying. I'm reading a lot, praying a lot..

Nancy and Dallas--I can say thank you til I'm blue in my face. You guys have given me a home when I didn't have one. You are helping me mentally, physically and spiritually. thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you guys so much

Tammy and Josh--Thanks for being there, even just to listen. Sometimes that's all I need. I really appreciate and I know I haven't told you guys enough. I love you

Barrett and Chantel--Thanks for helping me store some of my belongings up there. it lifted a lot of stress off of me and helped me know that I will still be able to have stuff after these next few months. Having you guys back is really good!

I know that My family is probably thinking... another depression with Nicky.. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to pull out of it. I love you guys so much for helping me with this.

I also want to thank my friends. They know who they are (even though I know they don't read this blog) but i have told them all specifically thank you for everything that they do. They are so amazing in my eyes..

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Is it really 10 years!?!

When I think back to 9/11, I can remember the day so vividly. I can remember the smell, the feel of the air... I was in my first year at Snow College I was living with one of my best friends, Alissa Jacobson. That Tuesday morning, I got up and was going to my Microbiology lab. I want to say it was the first one of the school semester. The class started at 7, so nothing happened before class. When the class got out at 9, I got to my car and turned on the local college radio station and that's when I heard the news... The World Trade Center was just attacked and an airplane ran into it. I didn't believe it. I didn't live that far from the campus but our apartment didn't have cable yet, so I slowly drove myself home and sat in the parking lot of my house so I could hear more. I got home and I immediately called my mom. I knew she would know what was going on. She was at work but she got on and she confirmed that it was real, a plane had hit the building. She told me I NEED to find a TV! I knew then that this day was going to be something I was going to remember for the rest of my life. This was something different, something tragic. Our neighbors had cable, so we had all crammed into their house. When I say we, I'm saying that literally. I lived with girls from the Snow College basketball team, and ALL of the team (and their roommates) crammed into that the apartment. (We were all really tight that year)

We all missed class that day. I did go to my afternoon class, but we didn't do anything. All of the classes had the News on, the teachers didn't want to miss anything.

That night, the bishop of my college ward called a special prayer. We met at the church and I don' remember much about the prayer but I remember him telling all of us to be prepared for a lot of change. Things are never going to be the same. But the Sunday before the attack, there was a fireside and he said to remember what was said in the fireside (I don't remember what was said). I do remember Bishop saying if we need to, top our cars off with gas, because the gas prices are going to raise and we will see them over $4/gal (we were all in shock!) He made sure to tell us that we were all going to be ok but things were never going to be the same after the events that happened that day. Boy, was he right. You should have seen the line of cars at Maverick that night, everyone wanted to put gas in their cars and make sure we were all full :)

10 years later, I look back and see everything that has gone on. Gas prices have gone up $4/gal. I was thinking the other day that Lexi (my niece) was alive but she was only 1. She has no recollection of what went on. That all the little kids will have to learn about this in history class and I lived through it. I got to see it! That is just amazing to me. This past week in the Emery County Progress they had an article that the kids were going to learn about 9/11 and I thought to myself, why do they need to "learn" about it.. Then it hit me, they were so little! That just really shocks me. It doesn't seem that it was that long ago, but it was 10 years ago! (am I getting that old)

While looking through pictures and videos of all the 9/11 memories, the emotions from that day come back. The days after 9/11, I remember we got the newspaper at our house, I would save the newspaper. I have them tucked away in my cedar chest. I knew that someday someone might want to see things in those paper. I guess I learned that from my grandpa Rue. I have the front page of the paper the day after with a picture of the Twin Towers getting hit.

So, where were you when the world stop turning, that September day? Heaven got a lot of angels that day.

Does this Roller Coaster have seat belts?

A lot has happened the past week for me in my life. I never thought I would have had to go through this all over again, but I do. I was so happy with Mike (or so I thought) and we were fine (or so I thought). Last Tuesday while I was at work, I got the most random email from him. I just got done talking to him and he was fine. He then emailed me and said that he was going back to his wife and kids and then said thanks for everything. My world felt like it had shattered. I sat there just looking at this email. It felt so surreal. I went into my boss' office and they (my boss and coworker) and my boss told me to sit in her office, I just cried. She told me I needed to go home and see what all he took from the house. I didn't want to face the fact that he was gone. At least not alone. So I called my sister Nancy, I was crying on the phone and I asked her if she could meet me at my house because Mike left. I got to the house the same time she did. I walked in and there were things thrown all over the house. I didn't know where to even start. I am so grateful I had her there to help me compose myself and to help me figure out what I needed to do. We got the locks changed so he couldn't get in, since he didn't leave the house key. I talked to the manager and told her that no matter what he is NOT allowed in the house. There were a lot of choices me and Mike made that probably weren't the best choices and now I have to live with them. He left me with $4 in my account. I cannot even start to tell my family how grateful I am that they are there for me. That night, I stayed at Nancy's. I was able to get really good sleep that night (thanks to sleeping meds). I didn't make it into work that next day, but my boss completely understood!

Wednesday, Tammy came down with Koy (she had a dentist appointment) and her and Nancy took me out to lunch. Nancy also made me an appointment with a therapist. It was good to have them here and just knowing that my sisters were there to cry to. It was really good to talk to a therapist who didn't have any connections with the situation and could just listen and didn't really have to give any input but she did tell me that I did nothing wrong. She did encourage me to cry a lot and if needed, take a lot of walks. Knowing that I have had this similiar thing happen in the past (twice) I keep thinking, what is wrong with me.

Thursday and Friday I did go to work and start in on my normal routine. It was hard, I cried a lot and I would cry out of the blue. But I pulled through. I have a lot of coworkers and a boss who really cares.

Saturday morning, we went to the Hydrocephalus walk at Sugarhouse Park. That was fun to enjoy that with Tyler. That was just the beginning of the family filled weekend. My parents came up that day because Grayson was getting blessed in church. After much thinking and talking with my family, we decided that the best thing for me to do is move out of my apartment that I was living in and move into Nancy and Dallas' house in the spare room for a few months. So Saturday, that's what we started doing. We got A LOT packed! My dad is just amazing. He had a torn meniscus and he was helping me pack. Mom did what she does best, held the baby while we packed (she's a grandma!) By the time we were done that night, we were so done!

Sunday we got up and went to Grayson's blessing. It was good to go back to church. It has been a long time. While I was sitting there between my brother and sister, I had so many thoughts going through my mind. This is what I want; I want someone who can sit with me and my family at church, someone who will come and be with my family. My family has played such an important role the past week, I want whoever is in my life to know that my family is always going to be in my life, NO MATTER WHAT. Later that night, we went and moved the bigger items from the apartment. My brother was so helpful and he bought my couches from me. (He really needed the loveseat for his office but oh well, he still helped out) and he stored my bed for me.

Monday we took all the stuff up to Cache Valley cuz we were heading up to the land of the cows for the Labrum Family Reunion! It was so good to be around all my family. I had my cousins and aunt and uncles come up and just ask if I was ok. They are such a strength.

So, now here I am. I am living at Nancy's. It's hard to know that a week ago all this happened. But I am so proud that I have been able to pull through this. I know that if it wasn't for my family, I don't know how I could've done it. I know I will definately have my ups and downs. Since this is the 3rd time this has happened, I just have to keep telling myself that the guy out there for me must be FABULOUS because look at all this that I have had to go through for him.

I just cannot tell my family thank you enough. They are/have/will be doing so much for me. I will forever be in debt to you.

Summer at a Glance

I started the summer out by doing Susan G Komen, Race for the Cure. This was the 2nd time I did it. I LOVE doing it!!! These are just some pictures I took with my camera. There were SOOOO many people there. Here are some facts I got from Susan G Komen SLC page on FB : Race For The Cure - By the numbers: Total Participants 16,096, Survivor Participants 1,040, top fundraising team Myriad’s BRAC Pack ($7,056) & top fundraising individual Gail Winterfeld ($4,685)!!! I was on the Myriad's BRAC Pack again, I raised over $100!





I took a lot more 4th of July pictures, but Ty looked so cute here so I will only post the 1. We sat with the Brown's at Zions Bank in Murray. Ty had so much. He LOVED the marching bands. He would get up and dance and he had to keep telling me over and over that he has 2 flags!



I rode down with Nancy, Tyler and Grayson for the big Emery County Fair Parade. We had so much fun. We left SLC around 7:30 (later then planned) and made it to Castle Dale just in time for the parade. We sat with the Labrum kids (Jess, Spence, Cass, and Logan) at Pro-Rehab. Grandma Labrum got to sit and rock her new baby while me, Grandpa and Nancy were out getting candy. We scored BIG with the candy this year!!! After the parade, we went to the fair grounds and ate LAMB! YUMMY. We went back to my parents house and we had some nice surprise visitors! Grandma Carol, Jaylee, and Jackie came up to see Baby Grayson. Then Aunt Ruanne and Kristi came. Tyler loved showing off but he sure did want to go down to the Hardware Store. So we went down to ACE and Tyler was on a scavenger hunt to FIND THE HAMMERS!! Well, he found them. We got our fishing licenses and off we went to Potter's. We fished for a few hours. Me and Grandpa each caught a fish. Tyler kept catching his "big red gooey fish". We got home we were all tired, fell asleep and got up the next day and came home to finish the weekend in our own homes. It was a great weekend!







Thanks for making me always feel invited to events, Nanc.

Happy 34th Anniversary!

I have THE BEST parents! They have an amazing story on how they met and got married. I am so proud to have them as my parents.



My parents are best friends. They are always together and I can actually say they really like to be around each other. My dad is so sweet to my mom. He will take her lunch every day at work and sit there and eat with her then he goes off to his second job. Growing up, I remember him sending her flowers "just because" and Just to tell her he loved her. They are great examples to me and to their family.

My mom recently posted on her FB that it brings her to tears seeing how much pain my dad is in. That shows their relationship to a T! One hurts, the other hurts. One is laughing, the other laughs. I have the best parents anyone could EVER ask for!

Happy Anniversary to you Mom and Dad! Dad, I hope you start feeling SOMEWHAT better. I know your shot is coming up. Mom, I hope your leg starts healing soon. I love you guys so much. You have been amazing parents and you have 8 amazing grandkids and 7 kids (8 if you are going to count Mike :)) I personally want to say thank you for EVERYTHING you have done to help me out. I love you guys so much. Enjoy your day together, school is starting back up. Don't wear yourself out.



I think it's time for a new family picture, since this picture was taken we now have 2 more additions :)

Week of bad luck

Well, the past few weeks haven't been all the great. I came down with a bad head cold. Mike came home with it and then I got it. I got it over the weekend last weekend (over the 24th of July weekend). I spent the holiday in the house trying to recover.

On Tuesday, I was heading to work. Went to Jamba Juice and was driving on 1300 E by West Minster College. Jamba Juice has a problem with their lids fitting on their cups, and I was putting the lid on the cup and putting it in the cup holder. When I looked up, the car in front of me had stopped. I didn't have time to stop and I ran into him. I said choice words and pulled over to the side of the road. By that time, I had smoke coming up out of my hood and into my car through the vents. The other driver was just sitting in the middle of the road with a dumb look on his face, I motioned him to pull over so other cars could go past. I immediately got my phone and called 911 and told the dispatch we were past West Minster and I didn't know the exact address. They said they would get a officer out there. Then I called my boss and told her I would not be in because I got in an accident. She asked if I was ok and if she needed to come down (I didn't have another ride) so she said she would come down. I then called Mike and my dad and let them know that I had been in an accident. Mike's car was in the shop at that time because the fuel pump went out.

The cop finally showed up and he said we needed a tow truck for my car. Lynne (my boss) was there and was SO great and made sure I had a ride home) Tammy and Josh gave me the address to Josh's work for the tow truck to tow it there. Lynne drove me home when the tow truck got my car.

The next day I had MAJOR whiplash, my neck was SOOO sore and when I hit the other car, my chest had hit the steering wheel. I was very sore. The airbags did NOT go off.

The insurance is looking at the car and getting an independent adjuster to look at it and they will decide to fix it or to claim it a total loss. Most of the major damage is all mechanical. The radiator needs to be replaced (that it was what smoking), the AC Condensor, and the fan. Then for the body repair: the hood, bumper, the lights..

On top of healing from the car, I'm still trying to get over this headcold. I'm ALMOST over it! I'm just hoping that next week will bring better luck for me.

Summer

In 2 months of time, I got 2 nephews. Grayson and Isaac. Isaac came into our family from adoption. He is SO cute! Barrett and Chantel have been waiting for so long and he finally came May 1 weighing a big 5 lbs! Grayson came July 12 to Nancy and Dallas and he was 6 lbs.

Congrats to all

Happy Birthday Barrett

I just thought I would post really quick and tell my brother Barrett happy birthday. I am so proud of you! You are officially done with school and you are a doctor. I couldn't be more proud (don't mean I officially fully trust you:) ) You have 3 adorable 3 kids and I can't wait to be able to get to know Isaac and be part of his life. I am just so happy that you guys are moving back. I am a proud little sister of her older brother. You are such an example to me. I love you so much and I am SO proud that you are my brother! Happy birhtday!

Happy Fathers Day!

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. ~Author Unknown


Happy Fathers Day! I have the greatest Dad in the whole world. I know many people are saying that about their own father. But I'm sorry, my dad is the best! My dad did, and still does, everything he can for his kids. I am so lucky to have him as my father. He has taught me how to work and to be proud of my work. I have learned my work ethic from him. My dad is a hard working man and he doesn't like to just sit there. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. It's not that good when he had knee surgery and he wouldn't give himself time to heal. He had to learn the hard way to relax and heal (he ended up in the hospital with Staph infection) I love you Dad! You're the best!

I also have the best brother and brother in laws. They do so much for their family. My brother is a GREAT example. I don't know how he did it, but he has always wanted to be a doctor and this year he finished that goal and he is done with schooling and is officially a doctor. I am so proud of you Barrett! Dallas and Josh, you make my sisters so happy. You gave them the family they wanted. Next month, Nancy and Dallas get the wish they have wanted in SO long and that is the addition in their family of baby Grayson! All of you guys are GREAT fathers to my neices and nephews and I couldn't ask for better men in their lives! I love you guys!

The man I am SO grateful for in my life is my boyfriend Mike. He is the father to 2 adorable kids. They are his life! I hope he has a great Fathers Day! He spent all day today with them. They just make him shine and I never see him happier then when he gets to be with his kids. He is so great to me and so supportive of me. He has taught me how a relationship really is. He has been so understanding with everything I have had to go through and I honestly couldn't ask for anyone better.

Both grandfathers have passed away. They are with their sweethearts, having a great Fathers Day!

Bittersweet

Today has been bittersweet. It has been a day that I have been dreading for a while. A man who has always been there for my family passed away. He has been our family home teacher since as long as I can remember. He was one of the most spiritual men I know, President Law.



The only times he ever missed doing his visiting teaching was when him and Sister Law were on their full time missions for the LDS church. Him and Ted would never miss a month. When Pres.Law wasn't able to be there, Ted would come with Al Lemons or his wife Fay when she was still alive.

Growing up, I have VERY fond memories of Pres.Law. Whenever he would go out of town and needed someone to help with his farm chores, he would call up my dad. We would go help with his chores. I still remember the smell of the utility room in their house where we would get the milk bucket. We would then walk out to the farm. Pres.Law would have the baby pigs that he would allow us to play us. Whenever the pigs would have their babies he would call us and tell us to come see them. I remember feeding the slop to the pigs, going into the chicken coop. Getting the grain out to feed them, picking up the eggs. Most of all, learning how to milk the cows.

Pres.Law was a spiritual, honest man. He was a seminary teacher for MANY years over at Canyon View. Everytime he would come to do home teaching, he knew he could never go without hearing the slack from the Labrum's on why did he have to work in Canyon, SRJH is so much better (thanks for the correction mom) He was eventually the patriarch of the Castle Dale Stake. I was HONORED to have him give me my patriarchal blessing.

Whenever I would go home and go to church, I couldn't wait to see Pres Law at church. As soon as I saw him, I would go up to him and try to shake his hand. I could tell thatParkinson's disease was really getting to him and it broke my heart everytime I saw him. He wouldn't allow me to just shake his hand. He said he always gets a hug. He would still go to my parents monthly. Not a month went by that he didn't go and he would ask my parents about the kids and how they are doing.

He has been like a second grandfather to me. My heart is saddened by the loss of him but he is no longer in pain. The world has lost a great man. Heaven has gained a great man.

When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. ~Author Unknown

Happy Mothers Day

I have so much I wanna say but I don't know how to put into words. This weekend is Mother's Day. Just like last year, I did the Susan G Komen 5K Race for the Cure. It is AMAZING to do this! This year I didn't make it on time for our team photo but that's ok, a lot of people didn't. Parking is awful downtown! They estimated over 17,000 people who did the race. I felt like I was at the end of the group but I looked back and realized I had to of been in the middle. The "race" started at 8:30 and we got done at about 9:45. Not bad!! There were TONS of "survivors" who walked this year, some were walking with family and some were walking alone. I saw this little white haired man (had to be around 70) walking and on his back was a sign that said "I race for my wife". I just get chills and tears just thinking of all the people affected (guess it hits a little home)

I can't even express all my love and gratitude for my own mom at this time! I know this week I gave her a hard time because it was her birthday (but hey, the older I get the older she gets :)). My mom is an AMAZING lady. I know she doesn't really like Mother's Day but mom, appreciate it! I thought of you the whole time walking today. I was walking for you, your sisters, grandma Nell.. and all of the Olsen girls. Just hoping, we don't have to go through it... AGAIN... Mom, thank you for being so supportive of me, my brother and my sisters. I know you don't always like our choices, but I know that you will always love me and be there for me with open arms. I hope you had a great time in Park City and had a great birthday! I love you mom!

To my sisters and sister in law: I know I may not be the happiest person in the world :) but I am so thankful for you. I love my neices and nephews so much. I'm so glad that this week I got the biggest surprise and that was to get to see the newest member of the family, Baby Isaac. I love hearing my neices and nephews tell me they love me and give me the biggest hugs (or Morgan being stingy with her hugs).Thanks for letting me call you at any time and letting me vent. I know Tammy gets texts all the time, even if it is just to find Lexi! :) I love when the kids call me just to say hi, my favorite of all is knowing that Tyler is able to talk now and he wants to talk on the phone. Nancy will call just so he can call. The other day, he was playing with the phone and called me on accident and I had to tell him to give the phone to his mom, I think it took Nancy by surprise! :) I love you guys and I know I don't tell you enough.

To my ALL my family (don't know if ANY of them read this): Thank you for being you. You are all supportive to my family.

Again, I just want to tell the ladies close to me, mothers or not, that you are all great.

Last year I made vinyl signs for my sisters that said "The Greatest Accomplishment in life call me MOM" The vinyl I made for my mom and my Aunt Linda said "Even if I don't hug you everyday, Remember that I will always Love you"

I'm being honest, I didn't get any cards or anything out to anyone this year. I will call you guys tomorrow, sorry that's all I have. It is getting harder and harder on me not having kids when things like this come around. I want kids and I want to celebrate it as a MOTHER not just as an AUNT.

Happy Mothers Day to every Mother in my life! I love you all and I hope you all get taken care of!

Late HAPPY EASTER

It's been a few weeks since I wrote.

When I last wrote, I wasn't allowed to share the big secret that my mom got an award called Arch Coal Teacher Achievement Award. It is given by the company based out of St.Louis for the coal based areas. My mom was awarded one of these awards . I am so proud of my mom! She only got to take 4 people with her for the dinner in Richfield. I was able to get off work and attend along with my dad, my sister Nancy and my Aunt Julie.

Last week was the week of Easter. My parents came up here and spent a few days at the famous hotel that they always stay at. It keeps the grandkids busy and gets them VERY tired! They were already with the grandkids when I got off work on Thursday. (I had to work a little later on Thursday, with the awful weather back East FedEx brought our shipment late). Friday I met up with Tammy and Josh and the kids and we met the others downtown at the Easter Egg Hunt for The National Kidney Foundation. It was really nice, they had pizza and cookies and of course WATER there for everyone. The Easter Bunny was there to get pictures with everyone. Then the Easter Egg Hunt started. Tammy and Kayden were even interviewed by FOX13 and got on the news that night. After the hunt, I went with my parents and Nancy and Tyler and did some shopping with the parents and then later met up with the Gales and more SWIMMING! Saturday we all met at Nancy's and ate turkey and the kids colored eggs. Lexi is getting so big (her birthday was last week, she is now 11) she was helping hide the eggs for the boys for a little easter egg hunt. Tyler did so good, we had a little section just for his hunt. He only had a little problem trying to distinguish between the dandelions and YELLOW eggs. Overall it was a great weekend. Sunday, I just rested and cleaned.

Mike hasn't been all that great, he had a HUGE boil last week. NO I didn't give it to him. I took him to the Instacare last Monday and they had to lance it. The doctor wasn't a good doctor. She didn't make sure he was numb before she lanced it. He was having really bad fevers!!The antibiotics have been working GREAT but there is still a little bit of an infection pocket left (the boil is on his stomach) so he will be going back to the doctor. I almost called my Doctor Brother to help me find out what I needed to do.

I will be doing the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure on May 7. If you want to donate, LET ME KNOW! I am so excited. I have been working out for about 2 months and started to lose weight and really started to feel GREAT! We have the weight trainer at work and been doing that on my lunch break at work, and WOWIE, she sure does make you work out.

Hope everyone has had a great month and a great easter!

It's S-P-R-I-N-G!!

Well, it's April. It SHOULD be spring, but of course the weather is CRAZY! Last Friday the weather was beautiful and I was stuck inside at work. Saturday I was able to open the windows at my little apartment and let the fresh air come in, it was SO nice (75 degrees)

Last week, I got another boil. I dont know why I am getting these. This one was on my stomach. I tried babying it so I wouldn't have to go to the dr. I noticed it Friday March25, just like an ingrown hair. By Sunday, it was so infected but it had been draining but I was having signs of a bladder infection so I called the dr Monday morning and got in that afternoon. While I was there, the dr checked out the boil and sure enough, it needed to get lanced. It was located on my stomach so not as bad as the one before. She did pack it and told me I was not able to shower because of the gauze and since I had a bad allergic reaction to the bandaid we couldn't cover it. So I had to sponge bath. Never in my life have I been so thankful for showers! Thursday I went back to the dr for the wound check and it was healing so well!!

I signed up to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure again this year. It is May 7 downtown. We are doing it for my work. If you want to donate to ME, go right ahead. That goes directly to my page to donate. It is all for a GREAT cause! If you don't know really what Susan G Komen is, check it out. The Susan G Komen walk is something I am planning on doing every year now. It is so amazing to see so many people show up to support breast cancer. I think last year there was about 16,000 people there. This walk is done nationwide, just gives me chills just thinking about it.

Starting tomorrow I am going to be working out at work. They got a new workout facility there at work. They also have a trainer there for about 2 hours a day to help the employees. She does a 101 class and a 201 class. And starting this week, there is a yoga class. But the facilities are open all the time for the treadmill and elliptical. My team is trying to get everyone to do it, so I need all the encouragement I can get! :)

Other then that, my life is pretty much the same. Work is going good, just been slow. I love getting the phone calls from the neices and nephews. I love hearing Tyler just talk, but I do have to admit it is hard to know exactly what he is saying all the time but I'm so proud of his progress. I'm so happy the Labrum's will be moving back! I hope I will get to have some special one-on-one time with them that Aunt Nicky is really missing! I'm also so proud of Lexi and Kayden for selling enough on their fundraiser to get their limo ride (well, Lexi got it and her "friend" she picked was Kayden, that was SOO nice of her) and Koy, he puts a smile on my face when I talk to him. Last time I had him and Kayden he told me that Kayden knows a lot and he doesn't. I had to tell him that he DOES know a lot for being 4. I'm just so proud of all of my neices and nephews. And I'm so happy to be getting a new one soon. Koy and Tyler don't like to be held like babies (Max laughs too much)

April is such a busy month! A lot of birthdays! Chantel's on Thursday, Josh's next Friday and Lexi's turning 11!!